From Victim to Victor
Each of us faces a strong temptation to assume the role of Victim. At any moment, this “gravitational force” pulls us toward the infantile depths.
The Victim receives a surrogate for freedom. It’s a “freedom from” — from obligations, promises, expectations, and so on. The Victim also receives pity and support from others, in other words, a surrogate for love.
The problem is that in exchange, the Victims give up themselves, selling their souls. After all, development is the fulfillment of your part of the secret contract. With whom? With your future self — the person you potentially can become. The Victim chooses stagnation, not life.
Choice is the key word. Some choose to go all the way, completely merging into what resembles warm “amniotic waters.” But for others, such a trajectory will horrify or fatally bore them. One day they will shake themselves and cry out: “Enough!”
What will happen? The Victim will embark on the path of the Hero. He (or she) chooses bitter truth over sweet lies. This means taking responsibility for everything that has been, will be, and is happening now.
Abandoning the familiar narcotic is accompanied by withdrawal. False beliefs that have taken root in the mind must be burned away. It’s painful, but the Hero has a “For what?” The answer redeems almost everything.
There will inevitably come a moment when the Hero will grow weary and ponder: “Why do I always exert superhuman effort? It’s nonsense! Perpetual survival. But where is the growth?”
The Hero chooses to become the Victor. He creates conditions where he does not have to go berserk. He’s studied his weaknesses and become invulnerable. Victor is not afraid of asps. On the contrary, he seeks them out to turn poison into nectar. He has “freedom to”. The Victor truly lives.
Sincerely yours,
-Alexander
I write about creativity, freedom, and meaning.
As a business therapist, I help tech founders increase their company’s value by catalyzing the changes they’ve needed for a long time. Testimonials from some of my clients are here.
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