How it is
Regularly I meet cases in which there are two, three or more co-founders of a business between whom a conflict is quietly building up. However, no one in the company, including the client with the request, describes what is happening other than as “some misunderstanding”, “there are disagreements” or “something incomprehensible is going on”. In relation to the opponent the rhetoric is mixed — mostly polite acknowledgement of qualities useful for business, but through it now and then bursts, resentment, anger and disgust.
It seems to the client that the root of the problem is a particular person whose behavior is unacceptable. But often it turns out that it is about something else. The historical context seems to force people to act this way and not that way. But to understand this, one must first “get a grip” on the whole phenomenon. Remember how difficult it is to grasp something with your head turned back. Looking at the situation point-blank allows us to separate this phenomenon from the rest and to give it a name. This step in solving the problem seems nominal, but in reality there is nothing more important. It is no coincidence that the first line of John’s Gospel is “In the beginning was the Word…” To accurately name something is to make it real by pulling a meaningful thread out of the primordial chaos.
The only condition is that the name of a phenomenon should reflect its true essence, without illusions, as it is. Then a paradox is observed — the problem is not yet solved, but the founder is palpably relieved. First, a vague and therefore frightening problem has taken shape. Secondly, it became clearer where to direct the efforts. This is how a hunter navigates a hot trail that anticipates his prey. Third, what had long matured and tormented the founder inside now lay outside under a microscope. A fascinating exploratory discovery lies ahead of him. An important discovery lies ahead of him. It’s a rewarding process anyway.
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As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.