The Secret for Wow-worthy Conversations
Do you want your conversation partner to exclaim “Wow!” after your talk?
Give me 60 seconds, and I’ll share a secret from psychotherapy.
In everyday conversations, we ask each other questions.
And tend to accept the answer our interlocutor gave us.
Politeness assumes that people say what they mean.
A psychotherapist, however, never takes things at face value.
A professional will always gently but persistently dig deeper.
After you say, “I think that __,” the therapist will encourage you with, “…and?”
And every time, it turns out that the words implied something more.
At the seminars of philosopher and psychologist Eugene Gendlin, I understood why.
I understood why at the seminars of the philosopher/psychologist Eugene Gendlin.
Everything that is evident (symbols, concepts) exists implicitly.
The presumed meaning is always richer and more complex than any form.
Words are merely a finger pointing at the moon.
Thus, the session turns into an expedition to search for treasures at the bottom.
Interestingly, clients find relief from the process itself.
They finally manage to express precisely what has long been brewing inside.
However, the secret is not just to clarify with “…and?” every time.
You need to sincerely want to understand the client and accept any answer.
The ability to listen in this way is surprisingly rare these days.
Perhaps that’s why the experience of being genuinely understood is so precious.
Yours sincerely,
-Alexander
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