The skill of letting go
I don’t know about you, but I have found it very difficult to let go of my past life. Maybe your business was booming, a wedding was performed, your health was restored, a trip around the world was planned, or, after years of construction, a house was completed. On February 24, much of what we held dear suddenly became distant, indefinable, or even gone. Mentally I understand that it will never be the way it was. But inside, there is still hope that with a little more patience, life will become “normal” again. Moreover, there is a tendency to recreate old habits at every opportunity, like trying to glue a priceless vase from the shards.
Of course, this is a dangerous illusion, I admit. First of all, because for many people, far more intelligent and informed than I am, the war was an unexpected event, accompanied by a shock. And the more unusual the phenomenon, the more the psyche makes an adaptation shift. A complete upgrade of the “operating system” is required so that the new knowledge of reality organically fits into the worldview of society or the individual. A survivor of war in any scenario is bound to become different. And here, in addition to Ukraine, the war affects almost all countries directly or indirectly. So the world is forever and radically changed. How exactly? Time will tell.
The point is that he who has not let go of the past has no future. Just as an experienced hunter does not feed his dogs before going into the woods, so a person should come to a meeting with novelty with an emptiness in his “stomach”. I sincerely envy people who find it easy to start anything new. They rush through the jungle of life, jumping, like Mowgli, from one vines to another. Even in wrestling, I spend too much time clinging to an unpromising position, instead of letting it go and moving on. It is very sad, frustrating, and scary to lose what I have right now in my hands. But trying to hold on to the past is even more dangerous-it will go away anyway, while the energy is wasted.
It is extremely tempting to push, force, or seduce myself in some way to catalyze the parting of the old to meet the new. But here, too, I have to admit that this process has a different pace for each person. After all, isn’t it one of the lessons of life not to try to speed things up, but at the same time not to hinder what cannot not happen.
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As a business therapist, I help tech founders with rapid business transformation. My specialty is accelerating decision-making at the intersection of business and personality.