Who do I trust with my success?

Who do I trust with my success?
I love it when a client tells me about his (or her) achievements. After all, we both know the trajectory of his business, from the initial state A when we met to the coveted state B where the founder wants to take the business in a few years. This shared vision brings us closer together, making us follow the hot trail like two hound dogs.

It is difficult for a founder to discuss problems in his business with a stranger only in the beginning, before any real familiarity has occurred. Later, as trust grows and the first results are achieved, the founder is ready to share almost everything. From my experience with my therapist, I know how grounding and liberating it is to have a regular opportunity to openly discuss with another person those dilemmas that are bothering me. It’s like after motorcycle rides in the fields, one person goes into the bathhouse and leaves there reborn.

Surprisingly, it’s much harder to tell the other person about your accomplishments. Experienced people know that nothing generates as much envy and hatred in people as your objective success. No one will admit it. At best, they’ll put on a polite smile or click “Like”. At worst, you will be subtly devalued or vilified behind your back. In fact, there are very few people who are genuinely happy about our success. Parents? Not everyone. Friends? It depends. Spouses? If you’re lucky. Partners? At a certain stage. When success is still fragile, say, in a new endeavor important to you, the role of the Other is hard to overestimate. As two alchemists, you participate in the mystery of the transmutation of matter and spirit. Or, as gardeners, you create a lovely Japanese garden out of a wasteland.

No, it’s not about me — you don’t necessarily need me. Let it be a board member, mentor, therapist or coach, but it’s important to have someone you want to share with when you’re doing really well!

Yours sincerely,

-Alexander

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As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.

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Alexander Lyadov

Alexander Lyadov

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As a business therapist, I help tech founders quickly solve dilemmas at the intersection of business and personality, and boost company value as a result.